|
This Page - Gay Christian autobiography regular life updates (blog, blogger).
Search by word, phrase, or topic within this Website.
Website Featured On...
This page hosted by...
|
Is this a Blog? Am I a Blogger? Long before the term "blog" was invented, from this website's beginnings, I included a monthly "diary," an update of my life and events, things I have learned, experienced, shared. Only recently did I begin archiving previous years. I enjoy reading biographies; I like them not just for the interesting life stories, but they assist me in learning from other people's experiences how to handle my own life journey. I hope this (b)log of my life helps you. Some of you might be disappointed, there rarely will be found here any comments about religion or politics, nor any kiss and tell stories, HaHa. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions, comments, or would like to discuss further something mentioned herein. Thanks, Ben
I needed a new Christmas tree for my apartment. The tree I used to have my mother gave to me, and it was so fat at the bottom you could not get around the living room, nor maneuver around the coffee table. Chris and I found a new Martha Stewart brand tree at K-Mart that was taller than the old tree, and in the new slender skinny style. I had not planned on buying a tree this year, but it fit perfectly. I have many antique ornaments from the tree my parents had when I was a child, with many of the gold, silver, or colored style glass ornament balls and objects made in America and Germany. My parents received an unusual top for their Christmas tree as a wedding present when they married in 1950. It looked like an upside-down candelabra, with two levels of silver tinsel branches, and little silver balls and tinsel hanging from the ends. After about thirty years it finally broke. Since then I have never seen another tree top I have liked, not even the prettiest of angels, and have never been happy with the top of my own tree since. This year, I logged on to Ebay, where I learned my parent's tree top was made in West Germany after World War II, and they were very, very popular in the 1940s and 1950s. I watched and waited, and finally found one offered, bid on it, and won it. It arrived in time for Christmas; it is very nice, and even our son says it looks remarkably good. The unfolding sliver tinsel branches accent the unfolding green needle branches of the tree, making it appear as if the tree just naturally transforms from green wood to silver branching spire top. I then added to the many antique ornaments the addition of a couple of strings of the old-fashioned "C7" colored lights to the small pre-strung clear white mini-lights that came with the tree, to complete a "retro" 1940s looking tree. I am very happy. December was warmer than normal, with only one small ice and snow storm at the beginning of the month. Weekends were clear of bad weather, so Chris and I found many opportunities to get out and shop for presents for our son, my father, and his family. Chris and I especially enjoy shopping for his brother's twin boy and girl, age four. Since our son is eighteen now, we kind of miss the joy of picking out "cute" clothes. I think we have more fun holding up different outfits and saying, "Look at this, it is so cute," than we actually do buying them. Buying for Chris' mother is more difficult, as is normal when parents get older, they do not need as much; but my father is especially difficult. Chris and I both decided he needed new everyday dishes and glasses, but agreed he would probably say he didn't need any, making it difficult to decide what to buy; but, it turned out he liked getting them, and recognized the need, too. We bought several new clothes for our son, along with several books and other things. Our son got us a few DVDs, new kitchen pans for me, and other special things for Chris. It was a good Christmas this year, but a frustrating one. Our son’s marching band played in the one of the national football championship bowl games this year, and I was chosen to go with the band as a chaperone. At that time, last Spring, we did not know we would be leaving the very next morning after Christmas Day, and not get back until New Year's Eve. My father also came up for the holiday, and add to that Chris having to work extra hours, and our son rehearsing with the band extra hours, and Chris and I ended up separated at Christmas, with both of us hating it. He spent it with his mother, brother and family, and I spent it with our son and my father. Our Christmas, between Chris, our son, and I, were delayed until we returned New Year's Eve. We chatted on the phone several times, and though I missed him, he was in my heart this Christmas. While on the band trip, I endured the football game (I cannot stand football, by the way) in order to see the band and my son play during the half-time show. The other days spent in Texas included sightseeing historic places, visting a large cave, and spending an evening at a working cattle ranch, complete with chuck wagon dinner. When my son and I got back, we spend New Year's with Chris, and then opened our Christmas packages from each other.
When my parents moved to Phoenix in 1976, it was just too expensive to travel by airplane to see them for both Christmas and Thanksgiving holidays; so, I just always traveled at Christmas. Now that mother is gone, and father moved back to Kansas in December, 2005, this would be the first time I would be spending the American Thanksgiving Holiday with my father/family for thirty years. All these years, I always spent it with friends, or with my wife's family during my married years, and now all these many, many years with Chris and his family. Chris and I have had such a long tradition in our relationship to spend Thanksgiving with his mother, his brother and his wife and children, that this was a real adjustment for us. We especially enjoyed the big Christmas shopping long weekend after Thanksgiving, too, finding lots of bargains for clothes and toys for our son over the years we otherwise could have afforded, and see the Kansas City Plaza shopping district Christmas lights. So, for the first time Chris and I spent the holiday apart, he with his family, and I with my father and our son. It was a nice holiday, somewhat stressful, and I missed Chris terribly. Otherwise, the month was rather routine. Chris and I did some early Christmas shopping, and we have been needing a new tree for some time, and found a very nice tree, the new tall thinner style, from Martha Stewart, which fits perfectly in our smaller space in the living room. Normally, we do not put up the tree and Christmas decorations until early December, but decided to see how the new tree looked, and then just went ahead and finished decorating after Thanksgiving was over. For those of you who celebrate Thanksgiving, I hope you had a blessed holiday, reflecting, like I do, of the many blessings we all have, despite life's ups and downs. If you have never tried or celebrated Thanksgiving, I highly recommend it. I know of many people in the United Kingdom who do. Despite how much I love Christmas, I think Thanksgiving is really my favorite holiday, everyone traveling to be with friends and family, or if you don't have such, hosting and inviting others, making new friends and your own family. God Bless you all, and Happiness as we move into the Christmas Season.
Chris and I spent one weekend searching the antique stores in Kansas City for Halloween and Thanksgiving decorations, and made our annual trip to a small town nearby known for its quaint stores, and antiques. We had a nice lunch, and enjoyed the wonderful warm Fall day. The next day was miserable, cold rain, terrible wind, typical for Fall. We also found a Victorian store. There used to be one in Kansas City that we just loved about eight years ago, but it closed. Well, duh, it turns out it just moved to a smaller store in a quiet neighborhood of Kansas City, been sitting there the whole time, and we never knew it. So, Chris and I are now in Victorian heaven, just pack up the entire store and ship it to our home. They had so many Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas decorations, I had to leave before I became too tempted, HaHa. October has been cold and wet this year, and several of our son's school band competitions have been cut short due to the cold wet weather, or he has suffered through windy cold football games. We completed our scholarship applications for him for college; now we wait until December to hear the results. You have to start all of the college application process a year ahead of time, in the high school Senior year. In January, you complete the Federal forms for loans and grants, and in the Spring is another round of scholarships. So, by next May, when he graduates, we will know how much money will be needed out of our pockets to pay for his first year of college, Fall, 2007. At the end of October, one of the library meetings I attend each year, for annual training, was held near the city where my father now lives. So, I spent several days with my father, helped him with some things around the house, and advice on his health and other matters.
Back to the beginning of the month, Chris, our son, and I went to the Kansas State Fair, in Hutchinson, Kansas. This was our first visit to the fair since our son was about 10, eight years ago. When my grandmother was alive and lived in Hutchinson, just two blocks from the fairgrounds, it was always easy to go to the fair, we had some place to stay. I grew up with the fair, part of the culture of the city, and especially with my grandparents living so close to it. My father was in local and state politics at the time, he worked the political booths, and my mother and I would visit off and on. My Irish relatives would enter quilts and foods in the fair, winning ribbons. Kansas has one of only two surviving "tunnel of love" rides, Ye Old Mill, which I have always loved, and on which my grandmother was one of the first to ride in 1915. It is a spooky boat water ride through a maze of dark tunnels, with things that jump out at you, noises, and people working inside that yell, "Boo." Now that my father has moved back to the area, we were able to go visit him, and see the fair. We had a wonderful warm fall day. The animals were very active, cute baby cows, Chris petted some newborn chicks, we saw some newborn baby pigs, lots of rabbits (I kept giving them cute names until Chris told me to stop, HaHa). We rode this cool sky ride, and my son and I went on the Old Mill. It was the first time ever they had it set up where you got splashed with water; so, Chris did not want to go on it and get wet. We also collected lots of free stuff from different booths, our son got some roasted corn, we saw all the exhibits including a 600 pound pumpkin, and we had a nice steak lunch. All in all it was a nice trip, and a good visit with my father. It was also the first time Chris has seen my father's new house, and how I set it up for dad when he moved back to Kansas. Perhaps it seems kind of lame for some people, and the fair is not as big and great as it was when I was a child, or in my parents or grandparents days, but it was still nice. It was good to get away from city things, back to the family rural roots that both Chris and I have, and which our son needs to see now and then. The trip finally wore out what I knew were wearing out car tires, and I had to get two new ones when we got back. While they were doing that, discovered needed new brake pads, and needing some brake work. So, that sucked away the rest of my money for the month, and we are broke until October paychecks. School is back in full swing, and the band is marching. We've had a few football games and one competition; so, I've been chaperoning and traveling with the band. We are also working on the college application process; our son was accepted by the major university he desires. Now, we are filling out the scholarship forms; all of this has to be done during your child's senior year, a year in advance anymore, it is so complex and competitive. There are more forms and federal financing to be filled out in January, too. Happy Birthday To Me!! I'm turning out the lights now, and going back to bed. Sigh.
Our son also celebrated his eighteenth birthday. He did not want a big celebration and attention, so we just had a small gathering. At the same time, our hot water heater went out, so part of his birthday weekend was shopping for a new one. I look forward to September and Fall. Labor Day weekend is our anniversary, Chris and I, our eleventh year. Then comes my birthday at the end of September, October with the Fall leaves and Halloween, Thanksgiving in November, and Christmas in December. As a child, I always looked forward to my birthday, because it is exactly three months to Christmas.
July 4th was quiet. Chris and I split the holiday, spending the weekend together; then he spent the actual holiday with his mother and his family, and I spent it with our son. Most of the month we have all been spending it indoors, too hot; terrible heat wave, more so than usual for summers here. I hear it is equally unusually hot in Europe again this year, too. (It was a heat wave when we were there in June, 2005). It has even been too hot to go swimming; it fools you, you are in water, but can get quickly dehydrated. Chris finally got a new roof, replacing the damaged one from a Spring hail storm, and we were suprised how the men could work in such heat. We also finally got the carpet in the townhouse cleaned, a continuation of our gradual renovations and decorating, which we began with painting, and bathroom work. Although the company cleaned the carpets, it was a lot of work to move the furniture off the carpets, then back again, but not before cleaning all of them and everything else, too. So, the whole house is sparkling clean, and I told Chris he cannot move or touch anything for weeks, HaHa. The last day of the month sort of ended Summer. Our son began school Band Camp. They have it for two or three weeks before actual school begins, to learn all the new music, and marching. So, it is back to school time already, and I am back to getting up early in the mornings, arrrgh! Hate it. HaHa. Hmmmmmm. Interesting word... Arrrrgh... Sounds like something someone would say if he were a Pirate, "Arrrrrggghhhh!" Pirates!!!!
What did we do the rest of the month? Work, laundry, take our son to the Dentist, watch television, laundry, cook, sleep, visit with family, work, and that stupid laundry again that will not quit or go away. In other words, the same boringly normal, everyday lifestyle of most all of us, you, and everyone else. Oh, we did go out for ice cream one evening... Woo-Hoo! Living on the wild side. Yes!
Chris' mother went on a trip again, so my son and I babysat her cat. Normally, the cat sleeps all the time, but it occasionally has five minutes of whirlwind activity. One morning, during five minutes of activity, I ended up slamming my right foot against the bedroom dresser, and broke several of my toes, cracking another bone, and badly bruising the foot. I ended up in bed for a week, with my leg in the air, wearing a brace. By Mother's Day weekend, I was able to be up and around, though still in pain, and spent the time with Chris' mother, and all of Chris' family. I tried to put on a good face, despite the pain; but, I was also in slight pain because of my own mother. Since her passing in 2001, I know where she is now, with Christ, miss her now and then, but generally do well handling such things; but, that particular day, Mother's Day, is a difficult time.
Memorial Day Holiday Chris, our son, and I traveled to Chris' family graves to place flowers on them. We planned on traveling to my Father's town, and place flowers on the few relatives I have buried here in America, including my mother, but just the one hour drive to his family graves proved almost too much for my foot (it is the foot stuck in the same position on the pedal for a long time), let alone a three hour drive one-way to my Father's city. Plus, the weather turned stormy, so we postponed that trip to this September. Instead, we caught up on new movies, and Chris helped our son shop for new clothes (our son hates shopping for clothes, HaHa); he needed new pants and shorts for Summer, and for school this Fall. During the Holiday, Chris came to Topeka for a couple days, too, and we went shopping and to the movies here, as well as in Kansas City. It was one of the best Memorial Day holidays we've had in a long time.
The next weekend was Easter. Chris, our son, and I traveled to his mother's home for the dinner and fun. His brother, his wife, and their little twins came, too. Chris and I spent weeks buying different snacks, books, and fun things to put in their Easter baskets. We took lots of pictures of them, very cute, especially when they were hunting Easter eggs in the yard. The next weekend, Chris and I babysat the twins and helped officiate the 50th wedding anniversary celebration of Chris' godparents. I told Chris it was a dry run for the first time we take the twins out on our own with them, like to the zoo or something; fun but exhausting. Of course, Chris also had a visit from the Easter Bunny, his own basket filled with goodies and new DVDs. He's much more into Easter celebrating than I; I am more Thanksgiving and Christmas. The last weekend was my father's birthday, he's in his mid-80s. Chris had to work, so our son and I traveled several hours to spend the weekend with him, and host an open house, cake and punch, for him, his friends, and my godparents. The weekdays of the month were just routine, work, and son activities. One weekday I helped his high school music department host a Choir competition, dozens of choirs from around the state singing. Meanwhile, our son was competiting with the high school band at a university, where they took a First Rating score. Yes! The typical end result of all this activity... I came down with my annual Spring sinus infection, staying home from work for several days.
Nothing much else happened for the month, too. Pretty routine. I did some traveling, to see my father, check up on him, and to attend some training classes related to my employment. Our son was on Spring break from school. He took his first real Spring Break road trip with a friend and his parents, went to the Ozarks and visited Silver Dollar City. I was terribly jealous. As a teenager, I had a great uncle who lived in the Ozarks, and Summers I would visit him, and then work part-time at Silver Dollar City. I helped during one of its expansion phases, and some of the log buildings carry my axe marks to this day. I also worked in Marvel Cave, alone in the evenings, after the park closed, cleaning the sidewalks in the cave while the bats flew overhead. I was allowed to explore parts of the cave off limits to tourists, an underground lake miles from the entrance, and parts of the cave so deep the temperature actually begins to rise. Great teenage fun, and great memories. Chris has been to the Ozarks with me, but not to Silver Dollar City, and I want to take him someday. He and I also had a quiet month, did not do anything fancy, just routine life, which is a good thing, helps maintain our reputation as being boringly normal, HaHa.
This month began the countdown process of sending our son off to college. It is not until 2007, but now begins the process of studying and taking the ACT test. We attended several college open houses, gathering information about scholarships and financial aid (anyone reading this with money or scholarships to offer, email me, HaHa).
After one Jaunuary weekend, the gay co-workers at Chris' place of employment were sharing about what they did over the weekend, i.e. saw strippers, hung out at the local big gay bar complex, drank, had sex, etc. They asked Chris what we did that weekend, and he replied, "We went to the Truman Presidential Library and Museum and saw their special exhibit of the "White House in Miniature," went to see some movies, and Ben cleaned the kitchen floor." His co-workers laughed and laughed. Not the first time such has happened, and probably not the last. But, I have been told before and learned, in private they do not laugh. The last weekend of the month would make them laugh again, as we tried a small road trip that went nowhere, stores we wanted to see were closed, timing was off, nothing much happened. But, sometimes it is not the destination, but the journey that makes a trip; we may not have done or seen much, but we were with each other, talked and talked in the car and over lunch, and that is precious. Our son resumed school, taking all of the same classes, with the addition of sculpture, and basketball season is in full swing, so he is playing in the band at many games during the Winter months. Chris' mother went on holiday, so our son and I babysat her cat for several weeks, as Chris is allergic; we did it last year, too. Our son likes having the cat around, can be cute sometimes, but I think all of us are really dog people.
Copyright 2008-1997.
To Regulate the Music Playing On This Page |
WEBSITE
Copyright 2008-1997. All Rights Reserved. 
Graphics & Music Used Are Believed Public Domain Unless Otherwise Noted. Some Graphics Courtesy Of...
In my world, you really have to like Christmas. I oversea two libraries at work; add to that my apartment, and then Chris' townhouse, and you end up with four places to completely and fully decorate for the holidays, and also put up and take down three complete Christmas trees (Chris' former tree wore out, and we are still trying to find a nice new one, and when we do that will make four). As much as I like decorating Christmas trees, by the time Christmas is over, I am completely over putting up and taking down Christmas trees.
Every three years our son's high school band participates in one of the various American football bowl games around the Christmas or New Year's holidays. When he was a freshmen they played in the Sugar Bowl in New Orleans, Louisana. This year, his senior year, he gets the rare opportunity to participate twice, this time traveling to San Antonio, Texas, to participate in the Alamo Bowl. Senior parents are chosen to help chaperone, traveling with the Band Directors, School Principal, and other school administrators. I was not chosen to go, even though I had assisted the band in various volunteer activities; that was fine by me, just happy our son got the opportunity to go. But, this month, the Band Director told me one of the chosen parents cannot go now, and asked if I would go. He said he and the other staff had always wanted me to go, but I just missed the list of persons with senority by one slot. Chris was reluctant for me to go, at first, did not want me to interfere with our son's enjoyment, and rightly so; but, I learned I would be chaperoning other students, and will rarely see him. Thus, I am set to go with the band the day after Christmas, for five days to Texas.
We had a nice time, but it was another typical weekend about which many gay people we know "make fun of us," laugh at us that we do not "fit" the typical supposed "gay lifestyle," do not spend the weekend at bars or dance clubs, or other "stereotypical" gay events or activities. Although we do not mind some of those activities, family is more important to us, especially right now. In another year, our son will be off to college, and Chris' brother's little twins are growing more every day; we cherish every moment we have with them, and believe in the long run, that is what really matters. We recognize, also, that we are fortunate to have love, respect, and relationship with our families. You cannot control whether others will choose to accept you or not, but you can do things to improve the possibility. Chris and I recently discussed how sad it is to us, to see many gays and lesbians we know who find it more important to go into debt to fly across the country to see Barbra Streisand in concert, than it is to spend a few minutes with their mothers, fathers, siblings, or cousins. Barbra Streisand is flawless, wonderful, and we would love to see her, but she will not be there for Chris, I, or even you, when you are lonely, sick, broke, or needing help, counseling, and support; remember, family and friends are more precious, and do your best to foster and develop relationship with them. End of sermon, HaHa.
Our son wrapped up the school year, on the Honor Roll, received recognition at an Honor's Assembly, and he lettered in Academics and in Music; he and I attended the Annual Band Banquet. The Band played at graduation, he attended several parties for graduating seniors in the Band, and then attended a mini-band camp after school was out, for incoming Freshmen for next school year. Now that all of the school activities are done, Summer is here, he is bored already; he typically cannot wait until school is out, but then once it is, he gets really bored, wishing it would start again soon.
Chris and I have uncovered a treasure trove of used bookstores, and spent one weekend visiting one after another. Being a librarian all these years, it surprises people how few books I actually own, they expect me to have some huge personal library. But, that is because I could access them for free through my job. Now, I am nearing retirement, so I have to catch up on book acquisitions. Chris said I have already acquired every book written about Abraham Lincoln, and I need to choose another president. I've already acquired several five pound books about FDR, Churchill, and Truman, so I have started acquiring all the writings of my favorite British mystery writer, P.D. James. Meanwhile, ironically, Chris bought a book about Mary Todd Lincoln, which he said was permissible because it was about the "other" Lincoln, and a book about how to live with a Abraham Lincoln fanatic... me.
