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GAY CHRISTIAN
ONLINE INDEX
(Home)
CONTACT ME
(E-Mail Me; Write If You Need Advice, or Have a Question.)
WELCOME
(Website Background - What It Is Not; Its Beginnings, and History, etc.)
INTRODUCTION
(Website Purpose - What It Is; How It Can Help, etc.)
WEBSITE
EXCERPTS
(Overview of the Website - Brief Description of Each Website Article With Excerpts)
A PAGE FOR
STRAIGHT PEOPLE
(How to Understand Gays and Lesbians, and Gay Christians; Stereotypes and Misunderstandings; Just What Is a Gay Christian; Silly False Fears; Our Common Goals and Bonds, etc.)
THE CAUSE
OF HOMOSEXUALITY
(What Makes Someone Gay or Lesbian; Theories and Causes Explored; The Real Cause Finally Revealed)
THE
"SPOT THE GAY"
GAME
(How to Tell If "Someone" Is Gay or Lesbian - Game One; How to Tell If "You" Are Gay or Lesbian - Game Two)
MY AUTO-
BIOGRAPHY
(My Life Story: My Youth; Years of Marriage and Religious Service; My Name Change; Coming Out; My Current Life; Monthly Life Updates, and "What Is the Deal With All the Pinocchio Stuff" Finally Explained, etc.)
HOW TO BE
A GAY CHRISTIAN
(Despite What You've Been Told Otherwise - Scripture Study Without Debate: The Compatability of Sexuality with Christian Ethics and the Christian Lifestyle; the Law of Christ, the Law of Love, etc.)
TRUE VERSES
FALSE CHRISTIANITY
(True Spirituality - Religion Verses Relationship, Grace Verses Law, Absolutism and Perfectionism Verses Normalness, etc.)
GOOD NEWS
(SCRIPTURES FOR THE GAY CHRISTIAN)
(Helpful Scriptures For Life Arranged By the Fruit of the Holy Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Gentleness, Goodness, Faith, Meekness, Self-Control, etc.)
HOW TO BE GAY!
GAY CHRISTIAN SELF-ESTEEM
(Build Healthy Gay and Lesbian Self-Esteem and Adult Development - The Need for a Firm Life Foundation in Jesus Christ; Sources and Effects of Dysfunction; False Guilt And Shame; Stereotypes and Misinformation About Homosexuality; False Coping Skills; Destructive and Dysfunctional Behaviors; Sexual Compulsions; Positive Self Development; Positive Relationship Development; Coming Out; Beyond Coming Out; Creating Healthy Choices and Behaviors; Inner-Healing; Self-Love; Self-Image; Self-Actualization; Following Christ; Christian Principles For Life, etc.)
OPEN LETTERS
(Common Letters and My Replies, Among the Many Are: Is Being Gay Wrong?; Why Sodom Was Really Destroyed; The Role of Women, Cultural Stereotypes; Gay Stereotypes; Should I Come Out?; My Spouse Is Gay; Sex Outside of a Relationship; I'm a Battered Spouse; After a Relationship Ends; What If My Church Finds Out I Am Gay?; Does God Accept or Reject Me?; What About Pornography?; My Parent Is Gay; I Need Help Finding a Church; Is Masturbation OK?; The Role of Reproduction; I'm Gay and Married; Should I Leave My Church?; How to Understand Scriptures; Is Change Possible?; What Does Being Gay Mean?, etc.)
LIVING THE GAY CHRISTIAN LIFE
(Articles on - Salvation; Baptisms; Sanctification; True Holiness; The Law of Christ, the Law of Love; Sin; Forgiveness; Communion; Sacraments; Prayer; Fasting; How to Study Scripture; Giving; Witnessing; Serving; Christian Ethics; Making Friends; Healthy and Positive Relationships; Christian Sexual Ethics; Following Jesus – The Challenges and Responsibilities of Relationships, etc.)
GAY CHRISTIAN RELATIONSHIPS
(Developing Healthy Relationships - What if You are Gay And Married; Making Friends; Dating; Finding Good, Positive, and Healthy Relationships; Guidelines for Choosing a Church; How to Recognize a Good Church; Being Gay in the Christian World; Being Christian in the Gay World, Defining the Gay and Christian Worlds; Defining Yourself, Following Jesus – The Challenges and Responsibilities of Relationships, etc.)
COMING OUT AS A GAY OR LESBIAN CHRISTIAN
(Coming Out Right - The Successful Coming Out Process; Defining Sexual Orientation; Misinformation About Sexual Orientation; The Consequences of Living in the Closet; Who You Are and Can Be; Coming Out Internally; Before Coming Out Externally; Coming Out Externally; Beyond Coming Out, etc.)
SAME-SEX
MARRIAGE
CEREMONY
(Traditional Marriage Ceremony for Catholic or Protestant Christians; Format, Suggested Music, Scriptures, Text, etc.)
GAY CHRISTIAN ATHLETICS
(How to Pass Gym Class - Proper Diet, Nutrition, Protein, Carbohydrates, Fat, and Fluids; Supplements; Sleep; Sex; Body Care - Bathing, Hair, Shaving, Teeth, Hands, Feet, Nails, Piercings, Tatoos, etc.; Clothes - Fashion Styles, Underwear, Shoes, Swimwear, Shirts, Pants, Skirts, Hats, etc.; Choosing and Using a Gym; the Locker Room; Gym Etiquette; Proper Use of Gym Equipment; Warm Up Tips; Descriptions of Individual Exercises for All Muscle Groups; Personalized Exercise Plans, etc.)
REFERENCED AND RECOMMENDED BOOKS
(Books on - Being Gay and Married; Coming Out; Straight Parents and Families of Gays; Gay Dating and Relationships; Gay Parenting; Gays and Christianity; Gay Youth; Children; Gay Medical, Health, and Sex; Gay Legal, Social, and Psychological Issues; the Lighter Side to Being Gay; Other Gay Topics; Recommended Christian, Fiction, and Other Style Books, etc.)
OTHER INTERNET LINKS
(Links to - Gay Accepting Churches, Denominations, Religious Support Groups, etc.; Gay Christian Resources; Coming Out Resources; Gay Educational and Library Resources; Information and Truth on Ex-Gay Ministries; Fun and Interesting Resources; HIV/AIDS; Medical, Sex, and Health Issues; Gay Literature and Poetry; Gay Magazines and News; Gay Organizations; Gay Relationship Resources; Gay Parenting Resources; Gay Youth Resources; Search Engines, etc.)
MY MUSIC
(Music Composed and Published by Me - Classical, Celtic. Samples May Be Found on Various Pages, too)
MY POETRY
(I May Not Be the Best Poet, But I Try; and, Yes, Most of These Are Romantic)
THANK YOU
(Thanks For Visiting My Website)
SUPPORT THIS WEBSITE
(Financially Help and Support This Website, Donate Online)
HOW TO GET
THESE ARTICLES
(You may receive articles by donation, which can be either mailed to you, or the article file saved to your computer; multiple copies available, too.)
Copyright 2012-2009. All Rights Reserved. BBCB. USA.
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o, here you are. You have somehow found this article, and found me. So, you are thinking about coming out? Wonder how to do it? Wonder why or if you should do it? Or, you have come out, and are now struggling with the results of doing it? Or, you know someone who is struggling with accepting his or her sexuality, and you want to help?
Here we will discuss, in great length and detail, the background of the “closet.” We will discuss what put a person in the closet in the first place. We will analyse the effects, both short-term and long-term of living in the closet. We will learn the most important first steps to coming out, self-love, and self-acceptance. We will learn how to come out to yourself internally, learn how to see yourself and your sexuality in positive and healthy ways. We will explore whether or not there is need to come out to other people. We will discuss how to come out externally, to other people, and society in general. Lastly, we will discuss the important choice of moving “beyond coming out,” placing your sexuality in balance with the rest of your self and your world, in relationship with other people and society.
| I strongly encourage you to read this entire article, including the sections you do not think actually apply to yourself (they might actually end up applying to you after all, or they may apply to someone you know, and you could help that person by now knowing). Each section is a step that leads to the next section, and all sections to the ultimate conclusion. |
efore you come out, it might be important to check and see if you are actually gay (homosexual). Just what does it mean to be gay or lesbian? This is important because there is so much confusion, stereotypes, misunderstandings, and misinformation about the definition of sexual orientation.
When professionals originally chose the term “sexual orientation,” they instantly confused people by putting the word “sexual” in the title. Actually, the definition of being homosexual, gay or lesbian, is not completely based on sexual activity, or sexual attraction. The official definition states, “sexual orientation is determined not by the gender with whom you desire sexual activity or have attraction, but rather the gender with whom you desire to abide with in a long-term committed loving relationship.”
Having sexual activity with someone of the same gender does not make you gay or lesbian, nor does it mean you will become gay or lesbian. Many straight, heterosexual persons have had same-sex sexual experiences, and yet remain straight. Many straight persons live their entire lives never having any sexual experiences at all, and yet they define themselves as straight in their sexual orientation. All of this is also true for someone who is homosexual, gay or lesbian.
When helping someone who is trying to understand his or her sexual orientation, you need to help the person look past the sexual attraction, any past history of sexual desire or experience, and concentrate on the true deepest relationship desires and needs. Most people match in their sexual and relationship desires or needs. For example, someone who is a homosexual man has same-sex sexual arousal, desires same-sex sexual activity, and goals for a long-term committed loving relationship with a man.
But, there are some people that are “mixed.” These are persons who are either gay or straight, but who are capable of sexual arousal, and sexual activity with both genders. For example, a mixed lesbian would be a woman who is capable of having sex with either a man or a woman, can be aroused by either gender, yet whose long term heart desire and goal is to find a woman with whom she can settled down with in a committed relationship; her relationship goal defines her as a lesbian, abiding in a committed relationship with a man seems foreign and undesirable, and yet she can also have sex with a man.
People mistakenly define those who can be aroused by or who have had sex with either gender as “bisexuals;” even those who have had sex with either gender, or those persons who find themselves aroused by both genders tend to mistakenly define themselves as “bisexuals.” However, going back to the correct definition of sexual orientation, a true bisexual would actually be someone who is capable of long-term committed relationship with either gender. In reality, this is rather rare. Most people, whether gay, lesbian, or straight, desire one gender only for long-term committed relationship.
So, as you can see, long before you even consider coming out as gay or lesbian, you should know whether or not you are one. When counseling someone who thinks he or she might be homosexual, you have to move past any history of same-sex sexual activity, same-sex sexual arousal, things the person has mistakenly learned or believed about sexual orientation. You have to help the person look at, and determine his or her long-term relationship desires and goal. It is that real, deep down, internal desire for love, acceptance, and committed that will reveal the person’s true sexual orientation, or rather as it should have been called “relationship orientation.” When counseling a person who is “mixed,” it is important to help the person learn how to channel his or her emotional and sexual feelings. It would be better for this type of person to forgo sexual activity with the gender that does not match the long-term relationship goal, and concentrate on developing emotional and sexual connections with the gender the person desires for a committed relationship.
 | to chat about coming out, or defining sexual orientation. |
 | et's move on to discuss misinformation about sexual orientation and the consequences... |
| ee also these related articles and information... |
Gay Christian Books – Coming Out
Gay Christian Links – Coming Out
True Verses False Christianity
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