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GAY CHRISTIAN
ONLINE INDEX
(Home)
CONTACT ME
(E-Mail Me; Write If You Need Advice, or Have a Question.)
WELCOME
(Website Background - What It Is Not; Its Beginnings, and History, etc.)
INTRODUCTION
(Website Purpose - What It Is; How It Can Help, etc.)
WEBSITE
EXCERPTS
(Overview of the Website - Brief Description of Each Website Article With Excerpts)
A PAGE FOR
STRAIGHT PEOPLE
(How to Understand Gays and Lesbians, and Gay Christians; Stereotypes and Misunderstandings; Just What Is a Gay Christian; Silly False Fears; Our Common Goals and Bonds, etc.)
THE CAUSE
OF HOMOSEXUALITY
(What Makes Someone Gay or Lesbian; Theories and Causes Explored; The Real Cause Finally Revealed)
THE
"SPOT THE GAY"
GAME
(How to Tell If "Someone" Is Gay or Lesbian - Game One; How to Tell If "You" Are Gay or Lesbian - Game Two)
MY AUTO-
BIOGRAPHY
(My Life Story: My Youth; Years of Marriage and Religious Service; My Name Change; Coming Out; My Current Life; Monthly Life Updates, and "What Is the Deal With All the Pinocchio Stuff" Finally Explained, etc.)
HOW TO BE
A GAY CHRISTIAN
(Despite What You've Been Told Otherwise - Scripture Study Without Debate: The Compatability of Sexuality with Christian Ethics and the Christian Lifestyle; the Law of Christ, the Law of Love, etc.)
TRUE VERSES
FALSE CHRISTIANITY
(True Spirituality - Religion Verses Relationship, Grace Verses Law, Absolutism and Perfectionism Verses Normalness, etc.)
GOOD NEWS
(SCRIPTURES FOR THE GAY CHRISTIAN)
(Helpful Scriptures For Life Arranged By the Fruit of the Holy Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Gentleness, Goodness, Faith, Meekness, Self-Control, etc.)
HOW TO BE GAY!
GAY CHRISTIAN SELF-ESTEEM
(Build Healthy Gay and Lesbian Self-Esteem and Adult Development - The Need for a Firm Life Foundation in Jesus Christ; Sources and Effects of Dysfunction; False Guilt And Shame; Stereotypes and Misinformation About Homosexuality; False Coping Skills; Destructive and Dysfunctional Behaviors; Sexual Compulsions; Positive Self Development; Positive Relationship Development; Coming Out; Beyond Coming Out; Creating Healthy Choices and Behaviors; Inner-Healing; Self-Love; Self-Image; Self-Actualization; Following Christ; Christian Principles For Life, etc.)
OPEN LETTERS
(Common Letters and My Replies, Among the Many Are: Is Being Gay Wrong?; Why Sodom Was Really Destroyed; The Role of Women, Cultural Stereotypes; Gay Stereotypes; Should I Come Out?; My Spouse Is Gay; Sex Outside of a Relationship; I'm a Battered Spouse; After a Relationship Ends; What If My Church Finds Out I Am Gay?; Does God Accept or Reject Me?; What About Pornography?; My Parent Is Gay; I Need Help Finding a Church; Is Masturbation OK?; The Role of Reproduction; I'm Gay and Married; Should I Leave My Church?; How to Understand Scriptures; Is Change Possible?; What Does Being Gay Mean?, etc.)
LIVING THE GAY CHRISTIAN LIFE
(Articles on - Salvation; Baptisms; Sanctification; True Holiness; The Law of Christ, the Law of Love; Sin; Forgiveness; Communion; Sacraments; Prayer; Fasting; How to Study Scripture; Giving; Witnessing; Serving; Christian Ethics; Making Friends; Healthy and Positive Relationships; Christian Sexual Ethics; Following Jesus - The Challenges and Responsibilities of Relationship, etc.)
GAY CHRISTIAN RELATIONSHIPS
(Developing Healthy Relationships - What if You are Gay And Married; Making Friends; Dating; Finding Good, Positive, and Healthy Relationships; Guidelines for Choosing a Church; How to Recognize a Good Church; Being Gay in the Christian World; Being Christian in the Gay World, Defining the Gay and Christian Worlds; Defining Yourself; Following Jesus - The Challenges and Responsibilities of Relationship, etc.)
COMING OUT AS A GAY OR LESBIAN CHRISTIAN
(Coming Out Right - The Successful Coming Out Process; Defining Sexual Orientation; Misinformation About Sexual Orientation; The Consequences of Living in the Closet; Who You Are and Can Be; Coming Out Internally; Before Coming Out Externally; Coming Out Externally; Beyond Coming Out, etc.)
SAME-SEX
MARRIAGE
CEREMONY
(Traditional Marriage Ceremony for Catholic or Protestant Christians; Format, Suggested Music, Scriptures, Text, etc.)
GAY CHRISTIAN ATHLETICS
(How to Pass Gym Class - Proper Diet, Nutrition, Protein, Carbohydrates, Fat, and Fluids; Supplements; Sleep; Sex; Body Care - Bathing, Hair, Shaving, Teeth, Hands, Feet, Nails, Piercings, Tatoos, etc.; Clothes - Fashion Styles, Underwear, Shoes, Swimwear, Shirts, Pants, Skirts, Hats, etc.; Choosing and Using a Gym; the Locker Room; Gym Etiquette; Proper Use of Gym Equipment; Warm Up Tips; Descriptions of Individual Exercises for All Muscle Groups; Personalized Exercise Plans, etc.)
REFERENCED AND RECOMMENDED BOOKS
(Books on - Being Gay and Married; Coming Out; Straight Parents and Families of Gays; Gay Dating and Relationships; Gay Parenting; Gays and Christianity; Gay Youth; Children; Gay Medical, Health, and Sex; Gay Legal, Social, and Psychological Issues; the Lighter Side to Being Gay; Other Gay Topics; Recommended Christian, Fiction, and Other Style Books, etc.)
OTHER INTERNET LINKS
(Links to - Gay Accepting Churches, Denominations, Religious Support Groups, etc.; Gay Christian Resources; Coming Out Resources; Gay Educational and Library Resources; Information and Truth on Ex-Gay Ministries; Fun and Interesting Resources; HIV/AIDS; Medical, Sex, and Health Issues; Gay Literature and Poetry; Gay Magazines and News; Gay Organizations; Gay Relationship Resources; Gay Parenting Resources; Gay Youth Resources; Search Engines, etc.)
MY MUSIC
(Music Composed and Published by Me - Classical, Celtic. Samples May Be Found on Various Pages, too)
MY POETRY
(I May Not Be the Best Poet, But I Try; and, Yes, Most of These Are Romantic)
THANK YOU
(Thanks For Visiting My Website)
SUPPORT THIS WEBSITE
(Financially Help and Support This Website, Donate Online)
HOW TO GET
THESE ARTICLES
(You may receive articles by donation, which can be either mailed to you, or the article file saved to your computer; multiple copies available, too.)
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Gay
Christian Online Michelangelo "Ignudo" Sistine Chapel |  |
receive letters from all over the
world. I personally answer every letter I receive, positive or negative. You may write me if you wish, I welcome your letters.
| Many letters I receive are requests for information or referrals to resources, requests for advice on life, questions from people trying to understand themselves and others around them; sometimes I just get letters from people hurting, needing someone to listen and care. |  |
I also receive mail from people who show respect in their disagreements. Sadly, some other letters I receive are not very respectful.
o, I share with you some of the common responses I give to people who write to me (their real names and detailed circumstances have been changed), so you might be able to learn and grow from them as I have.
Whether to you who are supportive, you who have troubles, or you who don't understand or oppose: I electronically wash your feet.
Peace and Hugs. Thanks. Ben
| Oh, by the way... I know this article is several pages long, but you'll find reading it from beginning to end to be worth the time and effort. These pages are here to help and inspire you. So, please continue on to the next page, read the entire article. You can even download it, and read it offline. |
Dear Ben,
How can you say it is OK to be Christian and Gay? It is impossible for anyone in this lifestyle to be a Christian. The Bible condemns it. You may think you know God but you don't. You are bound for judgment. Steve
Dear Steve,
Thank you for writing. I appreciate it and you. First off, it isn't a "lifestyle," it's my life.
If you believe homosexuality is a sin, then it is equally as possible for a homosexual to be a Christian as it is for a glutton to be a Christian. What we do is a result of who we are in Christ. Some people wrestle with weaknesses, sins, and yet they Love the Lord, and the Lord loves and accepts them. So, your thinking is flawed.
Further, it reveals your heart, a heart that looks down on others different than you, and a belief that you alone are righteous. Your heart, rather than desiring those who do struggle with weaknesses to find help, support, and healing, would rather exclude them, shun them, lest they contaminate you. Believing yourself saved and the rest of the world condemned, you devote your time to pointing out the errors in other people and neglect to see your own weaknesses because of
your own self-righteousness. If walking in Love, whether homosexuality were a sin or not, you would be befriending homosexuals, breaking bread with them
in your home, and inviting them to your church. But, instead, you reveal your true heart.
The Christian "lifestyle" is one filled with Love and compassion. It is where you devote time to inward reflection, looking for what in self needs reform and growth by Jesus, and looking outwardly you Love and serve unconditionally all peoples, whether sinner or saint, leaving to God their reform and growth.
Open your heart to Jesus, and let God teach you true righteousness, and the truer meaning of Christian. I wash your feet. Peace and hugs, Ben
See Also: How You Can Be A Gay Christian, True Verses False Christianity, The Law of Christ, the Law of Love, Living the Gay Christian Life, Books - Gays, Lesbians and Christianity.
 | to chat about being Gay and Christian. |
Dear Ben,
I visited your web site. Haven't you read the Bible, how the city of Sodom was destroyed because of homosexuality? I pray you look at yourself and the Bible more closely and find the truth, and return to the Lord. I believe you are a Christian, but you are believing in lies. Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Thank you for your kind letter; I appreciate it and you. Praise God I have found the Truth, Jesus Christ; neither you nor I can enter in through any Door other than through Him.
Regarding Sodom, I could go into great discussion about what scholars believe happened, their interpretation of it; we rightly read other verses of Scripture on the topic of Sodom and balance them with the doctrines of our Faith. Off the cuff, I would just simply mention that if Sodom was destroyed because homosexuals wanted to have sex with Lot's visitors, then why did Lot try to pacify them by offering them his daughters? There's more going on in this story that meets the eye.
Sodom is the story of Abraham. Abraham stood in the gap, asked God to spare the whole city, including ALL those "wicked people," if as few as ten righteous people could be found. Alas, God could not find ten. Why? Why weren't there many righteous people in the city being a witness for Christ? God was willing to spare this city, including these "supposed homosexuals," but it sounds like the "righteous" people of that time abandoned it, and perhaps even rejoiced in its destruction. I fear if Sodom existed today, people would be no different towards it. The story of Sodom is the story of Jesus, of a God who is patient, not wanting any to perish but for all to come to Christ. If only we had the same intercessory heart as Abraham and the patience of God.
Whatever was going on at Sodom, it was not Love. It was destroyed not because of its sexuality, but because of its lack of Love. Suffice it to say, whether in Biblical times or today, all thoughts and activities done outside of the Law of Christ, the Law of Love, should not be condoned. Know I do not, and address it in my heart and my interactions with people.
Though you do not accept my sexual orientation, I appreciate your acceptance of my personal faith. God, indeed, dwells within me, teaching me to be Love, to know the Truth is to walk in Love. I have confidence in this Love, of my Creator's perfect Will and work in my life, including my sexuality. I sincerely pray you walk equally in Love in your sexuality. Our world greatly needs to see people faithful to our Lord, responsible in their sexuality, living witnesses. Let us together wash the world's feet. Peace and hugs, Ben
| to chat about Sodom and the Old Testament. |
Dear Ben,
I think you are cute. No, I think you are hot! I wanted to see a face behind all the words, and saw your pictures. I’d love to see what you have under those kilts. If you lived here, I’d have you naked by now. Could you send me some naked pictures of you? What do you like to do? Are you a (Rest of letter censored). Phil
Dear Phil,
I don’t mind if someone finds me cute, we can all use the occasional self-esteem boost. I am already taken, have a partner. If I was single, if you wanted me, in order to get my fully attention you'd have to show interest in me more than just physically. So, thanks for finding me cute and interesting. But, no thanks.
One evening, I played cards with a group of gay men. I mentioned I work out at a gym. One man replied, "Really, how is it going? Are you seeing any progress? What are your goals?" Another man replied, "Really? Do you see any hot young naked guys in the locker room?" What is the difference between them? How they approach and see life, how they choose to walk in their sexuality, and how they choose and value people.
There isn’t anything wrong with physically admiring a person, finding him sexually attractive, and even desire intimacy. Being gay means being sexual, but it means a whole lot more. It means being sexual whereby you and the other person are edified. Being gay also means doing laundry, going to work, and filing your taxes, too.
People who disapprove of or stereotype gay people, and say we are obsessed with sex, could very well use your words as an example to support their views. But, in this case it isn’t a gay thing at all. You said you wanted to see a face behind my words, see what I looked like. I challenge you to see me, and others, for both our looks, our words, and personalities. Follow Christ’s Law of Love; you will find what you really seek. Peace and Hugs, Ben
See Also: Sexual Ethics, Sexual Compulsion.
| to tell me I am cute... well, maybe. HaHa. |
Dear Ben,
I looked over your website, plan to read it in more detail, but I have difficulty understanding how you can be gay. My church says you can't be gay and be a Christian, but they also teach things about the role of women I don't understand either. Do the verses in the Greek and Hebrew say something different? I believe you are a scholar and can take on these verses. Thanks, Deb
Dear Deb,
What a nice letter. I appreciate it and you greatly. I discern you have a real heart for God and want the best. That is a good thing. I'm sorry, but I won't "take on" these verses, a debate, point/counterpoint. Yes, I could discuss the Scriptures in Hebrew and Greek, but debate often keeps us from seeing Jesus.
The apostle Paul taught the Word of God transcends all cultures and times, those aspects of a culture that do not violate the Law of Christ, the Law of Love, are permissible. The Old Testament Law and traditions placed restrictions on what kind of group or people could or could not enter the Temple, be part of the Covenant. The new Church was confronted with new people and groups with Jesus and the Holy Spirit living in their hearts. So, even though this didn't agree with their traditions and understanding of Scripture, they accepted these groups into the Church.
But, they accepted them with restrictions, putting rules upon them. It took the Lord, through the apostle Paul, to remove these restrictions. Paul wrote all things are lawful but not all things edify and are profitable, not all things are Love, and we do not use our liberties for occasions of flesh, but by Love serve one another, and strive not to cause offense or stumbling to those siblings in the Lord weaker in the Faith.
When Paul wrote about women or other things was he writing to the Churches of his day or to the Churches of our time? I believe the answer is both. Paul wrote about issues that were applicable to his time and today; he went to great lengths to teach godly Love, foundational to all things, even in our time.
Today, many churches have different views on the roles of women. We apply balance, remain flexible to the movement of the Holy Spirit; and, this applies equally to the issue of homosexuality. We have churches who believe women have a place and others who do not; we have churches who believe homosexuals have a place and others who do not.
The Bible is not just words, rules, commands, etc.; the Word of God is a Living Person, Jesus Christ. The Word of God is the Parent who scans the horizon for the return of the Prodigal Son; the Voice that withered the fig tree, calmed the storm and commanded a man three days dead to rise; the Person who has holes in His Hands that can embrace the unembracable.
This is why I can not debate matters of Faith, but rather let Christ speak for Himself in manner of living as well as speech. I will not become so rigid in my faith that when the Holy Spirit moves I should get shattered in the process. Rather, I shall remain flexible to God and the operations of the Spirit. I will not call unclean that which God has cleansed. God's Word never changes, but our understanding of God often does.
So, today we find the Holy Spirit speaking and ministering through women and even homosexuals, to the puzzlement or terror of some people. Do not be surprised if God challenges your life on occasion, challenges your understanding of God or people around you, for through this comes Love, and through that comes growth and maturity. The Spirit will guide you to understand the real Word, Jesus Christ. I now act on the Word and wash your feet. Peace and hugs, Ben
See Also: True Verses False Christianity.
| to chat about being Gay and Christian, and the New Testament. |
 | ext page for open letters on doing your own thing; gay stereotypes; and should I come out?... |
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