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This Page - Gay Christian, Gay Christians, Lesbian Christians healthy self-esteem, discussion on misinformation about homosexuality, and its origination, and more.
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 s time has passed and as I have spent time assisting people in furthering their walk with Jesus it is my firm belief the majority of difficulties people experience regarding sexuality and sexual orientation really have nothing to do with these issues.
Rather, I believe they instead wrestle with self-love, self-image, self-acceptance, self-actualization and self-esteem. When these truer issues are addressed in Jesus Christ then the sexuality and sexual orientation will naturally and without effort fall into place and its proper holy expression.
God wants you to be at peace with and in your sexual orientation. God does not want you to be someone you are not. God does not want you to further dysfunction by striving to be someone other than the wonderful you Jesus desires you to be.
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 id you know ALL male homosexuals know how to decorate and arrange flowers, can spell "chartreuse," are fabulous cooks, use the word "fabulous" a lot, know all the words to the musical Funny Girl, know nothing about sports, are feminine, and love to shop? Did you know ALL female homosexuals drive pick-up trucks, can do their own plumbing, are masculine, watch football, play a mean game of pool, and travel in packs?
No, they don’t. Some do, but most think and act exactly like straight people, in all respects except one... sexual orientation.
For many years, theories abounded on the "causes" of homosexuality. Generally, these follow one of several "theories," among which are the "dysfunctional relationship between parent and child," "confused traditional gender roles," and "sexual abuse."
The most common theory used as a foundation to psychological or religious ministry practices of "changing" male homosexuals into heterosexuals, often called "reparative therapy," is the dysfunctional relationship between parent, the family, and the child, often called the "dominate mother and absent father" theory. If a female homosexual, then the parental roles are generally reversed.
But, proper professional studies and research is proving the practice of this therapy is not Love. Such theories don't take into account other brothers and sisters who grew up in the very same home with a "dominate mother and absent father," and yet grew up heterosexual. Did you have brothers and sisters, and did they grow up straight? Nor do they don't take into account identical twins separated at birth, raised by completely different sets of parents and societal and culture differences, and yet both are homosexual in adulthood.
In reality, it is believed if a family shows forth the "dominate mother and absent father," it may actually be the "result" of the child being gay or lesbian, and not the cause of it. In your home, if you fit this "model," your father may have unconsciously perceived difference in you as a child and distanced himself from you, not knowing how to identify with or interact with you. Further, your mother may have felt the need to nurture and protect you, the hurt child. Again, if female, then visa versa.
I have no malice towards people who have no conscious thinking that what they are doing is hurtful, and neither should you; they are a product of misinformation, poor teaching, lack of information or motivation, etc. We are commanded to honor and love our parents, often in spite of themselves. We need to forgive any errors in judgment, give them the benefit of the doubt, let go of the past and build on the present and on to the future.
Holding ill feelings towards someone hurts no one but yourself, an internal spiritual cancer, let it go; even if your parents, or other people who have influenced you, are no longer living or removed from the scene, let go of anything negative about them that you carry. We are commanded to Love, Love even those who know not the best way to Love us back. We need to further forgive those who try their best, in all sincerity, to help people with sexuality struggles, even though misguided; they are sincere in their zeal.
 In reality, when you look at the many case histories of people who claim to be "cured," which have "switched" from being homosexual to heterosexual, the products of "reparative therapy," their life histories often show childhood and/or adolescence gender confusion and/or sexual identity dysfunction. Often, when you look at people claiming change, in reality they were always heterosexual, just finally healed from gender and/or sexual identity or orientation confusion. Some of them, further, were often abused sexually as a child and internalized this trauma, or who somehow grew into some sexual, gender or identity dysfunction which caused them to engage in negative, not positive, sexual behaviors.
I believe there are many people who are "gay" not because it is God's plan for their lives, not because it is their true sexual orientation, but because of some dysfunction within their life development and processes. This surprises a lot of people, but it shouldn't; just as there can be heterosexual sexual dysfunction, so can there be homosexual sexual dysfunction. I believe people can change their sexual practices or warp their sexual orientation into that which is not Love or not for the best, not according to their true nature.
Am I talking about you? Probably, not, for I believe this is rare and not the majority. For example, I have come across some, some women involved in homosexual activities who are really not lesbians, but who are actually heterosexual who have never been able to develop good or positive relationships with men, either because of a lack of a good role model, or past sexual, verbal or physical abuse; they have turned, in their hurt, to a search for nurturing and healing outside of God's best plan for them. I have also come across some, some men who are heterosexual, who yet engage in homosexual activities, behaviors, and false identity due to some form of sexual or self-identity, self-acceptance, and/or self-esteem dysfunction; this is shown especially in confusion over "perceived" traditional male gender roles, a search for male nurturing, or healing of a broken male relationship.
Dysfunction within a heterosexual orientation does not negate the legitimacy of the orientation, neither does dysfunction within a homosexual orientation give proof or validity to the theory the orientation is error and not Love. However, dysfunction within a sexual orientation may be evidence of a deep wounding, manifested in confused or warped true sexual identity. Generally, sexual orientation is known, manifested either positively or negatively. However, sometimes sexual identity or gender role dysfunctions may cause confusion, in rare cases, manifested in confused sexual orientation.
Is sexual orientation determined by genetics, or determined by life processes? I don't know and I don't care.
 The core to this question is not homosexual origination but rather whether or not homosexual sexual orientation is right nor wrong. If homosexuality is proved to be due to genetic factors two things most likely will happen. Those who believe homosexuality is wrong will use this evidence to prove it a genetic disease, and possibly use it as justification to seek a "cure" or to isolate and/or deny gay people general civil rights. Those who believe homosexuality is healthy and normal will use this evidence to prove it is but a part of normal human development, and possibly use it as justification to prove it is normal and/or to ensure gay people have general civil rights. So, whether or not it is or is not genetic or a result of life makes no difference. Either way, people will use the results to justify their beliefs or theories.
While I do not care what be its origins, what I do care about is the issue of whether or not it is right or wrong. This is determined by whether or not you view life as strictly black or white, or whether or not you view it as black, white, and gray. We know, logically, that much of life is neither right nor wrong, but neutral. However, there are many people who approach life and things within it strictly from a black or white, good or bad, right or wrong perspective.
There is nothing inherently wrong in many things in life, even things as simple as eat, drinking or sleeping. What we do know is that in these things, how you choose to walk in them, can determine whether or not they edify self, other people, society and culture, and God, or whether they use and abuse the same. For example, can attending church lead to the edification of self? Yes, of course. Can attending church lead to the use and abuse of self? Even good things can be used for bad purposes.
Can the same thing be applied to sexual orientation; is it black or white, good or bad, right or wrong? Or is it neutral? Can a person walk in their heterosexual or homosexual sexual orientation for the edification of self, other people, society and culture, and God? Yes, of course. Can a person walk in their homosexual sexual orientation for use and abuse of self, other people, society and culture, and God? God forbid, but the answer is yes. But, can a person walk in their homosexual sexual orientation for the edification of the same? For those who believe it wrong, then the answer is no. For those who believe that homosexual sexual orientation is normal, then the answer is yes. For those who believe it to be neutral and how you walk in it will determine its value, and you believe in the positive possibility of it, then the answer is yes.
So, it matters not whether or not it is genetically caused, what matters is how it is manifested, how it is walked in. If it can be manifested for the edification of self, etc., then it is acceptable, and it makes no difference then its origins. If it cannot be manifested for the edification of self, etc., then its origins still makes no difference.
You might also want to explore these articles The Cause of Homosexuality (What Makes Someone Gay Or Lesbian), The "Spot The Gay" Game - How to Tell If Someone Is Gay or Lesbian.
 | et’s continue our discussion on how to decorate, pick out a good pick-up truck... er... misinformation about homosexuality... |
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