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This Page - Gay Christian, Gay Christians, Lesbian Christians healthy self-esteem, discussion on misinformation about homosexuality, gender roles, sexual abuse, and more.
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 s time has passed and as I have spent time assisting people in furthering their walk with Jesus it is my firm belief the majority of difficulties people experience regarding sexuality and sexual orientation really have nothing to do with these issues.
Rather, I believe they instead wrestle with self-love, self-image, self-acceptance, self-actualization and self-esteem. When these truer issues are addressed in Jesus Christ then the sexuality and sexual orientation will naturally and without effort fall into place and its proper holy expression.
God wants you to be at peace with and in your sexual orientation. God does not want you to be someone you are not. God does not want you to further dysfunction by striving to be someone other than the wonderful you Jesus desires you to be.
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 | et’s continue... |
Fiesta dishes, produced since 1936 by Homer Laughlin, have been made in dozens of different colors. One color, "Red" (a bright orange-red color), was created by the use of radioactive uranium powder. Did you know, if "Red" was your favorite color dishes to eat off of, you are more likely to grow up gay than someone who did not eat off dishes of that color?
Yes, really. Well... actually, No. But, such are some of the stupid theories people come up with to "prove" why some people are gay.
See Also: The Causes of Homosexuality - What Makes Someone Gay or Lesbian.
So, then what is the evidence of those who have homosexual orientation? Are there those who walk in it negatively, who's manifestation of their sexual orientation abuses self and other people, who degrade self, demean society and culture, and mock God? Sadly, yes. Are there those who walk in it positively, edifying themselves, other people, society and culture, and God? Yes, thank God, yes.
Children who are sexually abused, whether by someone of the same or opposite sex, do not grow up to be gay or lesbian, but such trauma can warp and prevent the natural and healthy development of sexual orientation, sexual identity, and healthy sexual relationships. Research shows the majority of persons who sexually abuse children are heterosexual, not homosexual, in their sexual orientation. Further, mostly members of the child's immediate family perpetuate such acts and not some "homosexual predator stranger."
 Sexual abuse is a horrible thing, and I pray you have not been its victim. But, if you have, know that sexual abuse is a crime of violence and not a crime of sex. It is a crime of power of one person over another, warped around sexuality. Children who are sexually abused often think they have "done something to deserve it," they gave off some kind of signals or "vibes," which caused it. This is never the case; the child is the victim of the crime, not the perpetrator of the crime. The child is always innocent, always. But, the false shame and guilt of the act can cause the child to believe there is something wrong with him or herself. Child abuse does not make a gay or lesbian child grow up to be gay or lesbian, that is already a given. But, child abuse can cause a heterosexual or homosexual child to grow up with sexual dysfunction and/or gender or sexual orientation confusion, as well as poor or unhealthy sexual relationships.
If you were sexually abused as a child, or even verbally or physically abused, I strongly, strongly, recommend you seek out and get not just psychological counseling and assistance, but spiritual counseling and assistance from a good Christian professional who accepts gays and lesbians. Life is not meant to be lived alone, and neither should you have to deal with this, nor should you try to deal with this, alone. God desires to help and heal you, but sometimes God uses the arms, touch, and words of other people through which to minister to you. Open yourself up to God and other people and receive healing.
Neither do children who do not fit "traditional" gender roles grow up to be gay or lesbian. The stereotypes are rampant in our society and culture. If you like to cook, clean, sew, paint, arrange flowers, dance in ballet, or skate to music on ice, then you must be gay; but, the majority of artists, male cooks, ballet dancers and ice skaters are straight, not gay, and the rest are a mix. If you like to rope cattle, work on an oilrig, and are female, then you must be a lesbian; wrong again, most are straight.
Your occupation, or "traditional gender role," does not cause you to become gay or lesbian, but rather may reflect the rejection of you by society. This is true more in the United States of America than in other countries. This is because of American culture and its general non-acceptance of gays and lesbians; other countries with repressive feelings against gays and lesbians reflect this same trend. In countries that are open to gays and lesbians there are fewer gays and lesbians found in these and similar occupations and roles; gay men and lesbian women are found equally in occupations and roles traditionally believed as "masculine" or "feminine."
 It is true, you will find a lot of gays and lesbians in theatre, music and flower shops, who are art or antique dealers, or interior designers. Why? Well, because of the pain of societal rejection and internalized self-hatred, as well as other similar factors. Often gays and lesbians in repressive societies are attracted to occupations which allow them to "create their own world," a world of acceptance, beauty and peace, or where they can escape from their negative world. Now, I am not saying that if you are a gay male florist you automatically hate yourself. Occupations which are falsely believed to be "feminine" and yet occupied by a man, does not mean the person is or will become gay; the same holds true for occupations believed to be "masculine" and yet occupied by a woman. Often gay men or women who come out openly in their sexuality, who have developed positive and healthy self-images, often find themselves exploring occupations and hobbies, or finding gifts and talents they didn't know they had, all because they once falsely believed such interests were wrong for their gender. This is why the coming out process is not just about coming out sexually, but totally as a person. Though sexuality is but a part of who you are, it is a part that permeates a lot of who you are and can effect you in many ways.
Society, culture, and traditions teach boys to throw balls and girls to throw tea parties, boys to like to play in the mud and girls to apply mud facials, boys to play rough and girls to play with rouge. This is neither respectful to the Potter or the clay. God desires to make you into the most beautiful of vessels.
So, people who write and tell me they are confused or have questions about their sexuality are often surprised to discover I could care less whether or not they are, or prove to be, homosexual or heterosexual. People assume since I am gay I want everyone else to be gay, too, especially those who are confused or questioning their sexual orientation. What I care about instead is for them to find peace in their sexuality, and walk in it according to God's Love, whatever their sexual orientation may prove to be. This is my desire for you, too.
The disciples of Jesus came to him one day and told him about a recent tragedy, a tower had fallen on a bunch of people and killed them. Jesus replied by asking them if they thought the reason why the tower fell on them was because they were "bigger" sinners than anyone else. Western thought seeks a why behind everything; God does not. Sometimes things just happen, and for no reason. For every cause there is not a reason, for every action there isn't a reaction. I have to remind myself that often there are no reasons for some things in life. Instead of asking the Creator why all the time, I should be spending more time and energy in trusting the creator of the universe.
So, you and I can spend the rest of eternity trying to figure out why things are the way they are, or we can expend the same amount of energy in living life. Sometimes we need to know things to make right and proper decisions in life. But, often, often we are to not ask or know why, but to trust and walk in faith.
 | about sexual orientation. |
See Also: Being Gay Is Wrong, Gay Stereotypes, Is Change Possible?, Is Gay Sex Wrong, What Does Gay Mean?.
 he origins or causes of homosexuality aren't the issue, what is the issue is whether or not it can be acceptable, whether or not it can be normal and healthy. Living witnesses provide the answer. You can debate theories, ideas, philosophies, etc. You cannot debate living witnesses. God chose to live in the hearts of Gentiles, outside of the Law, and the disciples of Jesus were forced to rethink their theology as to who could or could not be saved. God chooses to live in the hearts of responsible, holy, Loving gays and lesbians. Proof enough.
 | ow, let's move on, look at childhood and adolescence, and their effect on your development... |
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